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The football world is only trolling the Fiver now. Gareth Southgate announced the England squad for Euro 2020 yesterday afternoon at 5 p.m. and didn’t even start talking about it until 6 p.m. And then, six minutes later, as readers and Fiver wondered why the hell they were bothering, our three-fold news-gathering woe was complete, as one of the biggest clubs in the country suddenly found itself without manager! Carlo Ancelotti had seized his first chance of a two-handed strikeout, telling Everton to make one, then waltzing down Goodison Road, whistling, aware that he was probably heading in the wrong direction for Madrid, but whatever , running away is the most important thing for the moment, it can recalibrate itself later, once it is well cleared.
To be fair, how much exactly the Fiver lost yesterday due to his Fiveishness is a moot point. Southgate didn’t say anything important, never does, as players took turns sending out a series of tweets – “My pride in pulling on the shirt is limitless”, “Let’s make this summer special”, “Always believe in yourself, shut up the doubters “- who suggest writing post-career plans for clothing manufacturers is no exception. England face Austria tonight in a friendly at the alma mater of Southgate, the Riverside, a game in which Jesse Lingard, replacing the absent contingent from Chelsea, Manchester City and Manchester United, is almost certainly going to score a hat-trick, due to not having made the last 26. You know how these things work. .
That said, there’s a good chance Austria will only record their second victory on English soil, having won eight of their last 10 friendlies. If they succeed, at least all of their efforts will be televised this time; In 1965, the winner of Toni Fritsch’s 81st minute at Wembley remained on the ITV editing room floor, the match instead culminating in a jump cut to a belted rendition of the national anthem. What a glorious nation!
So while everyone patiently awaits England’s first pre-tournament test, the Fiver are pretty confident he won’t be caught with his pants down tonight. Unless Everton throws a presser at 5:03 p.m. to announce a dream ticket from Rafa Benítez and Steven Gerrard, in which case we’ll tell you all about it tomorrow at 5:00 p.m., with more information on that break-in at the Democratic National Committee headquarters in Washington DC, but to be frank, we’re not sure this particular story has legs.
LIVE ON LARGE WEBSITE
Join Scott Murray for England v Austria and Paul Doyle for all other friendly international Euro 2020 warm-up action.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“They called me from the club to see if I wanted Luis Suárez and I laughed. I said, ‘Are you serious? Like crazy. Go for him. Let me call him. I called. and I said, “Look Luis we have to win and you want to win” – the phone call from Diego Simeone who changed the La Liga season leads this year’s edition of the Sids: the full review of the Liga 2020-21!
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
It’s the football weekly!
Weekly Football
Football Weekly: selection of the England team and arrival of Ancelotti
RECOMMENDED BOOKING
Speaking of which, tickets are available now for Football Weekly Live’s special Euro Not 2020 preview on June 10. Get them while they’re hot.
FIVE LETTERS
“Re: Conference League names. Big bogus? It’s a name that will certainly keep The Fiver’s interest, if no one else.
“And the Eurine Cup? – Kevin Windle.
“As an exercise in unnecessary tournaments, the Europa Conference couldn’t do worse than being called the Northants Senior Cup. Even my beloved town of Kettering finds it annoying” – Giordy Salvi.
Send your letters to [email protected], or tweet The Fiver via @guardian_sport. Today’s winner receives a copy of the comedy-thriller football by AD Stephenson, A cloud can weigh a million pounds. Congratulation to … Giordy Salvi. Other copies to be won this week!
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Ticketless Scotland fans have been urged not to travel to London for the England game on June 18.
A Premier League study found that only 26% of fans support the use of VAR. “There is a clear feeling among fans that VAR has ruined the spontaneity of the goal celebrations and taken away much of our happiest moments of the day,” FSA Vice President Tom Greatrex said.
Wolfsburg has appointed former Dutch international Mark van Bommel as their new head coach. “To be allowed to work as a coach in the Bundesliga where I played for a long time is a great honor and a challenge that I will take up with a lot of commitment,” he roared.
Scotland’s plans for Euro 2020 are in chaos after six other players were excluded from the friendly against the Netherlands.
In other Euro 2020 news, unsold Wembley hospitality tickets could mean additional seats for fans.
WANT EVEN MORE?
Burmese football is in crisis as withdrawals and threats of suspension follow a coup, writes John Duerden.
Have players been promoted twice from the same division in the same season? Knowledge has the answer.
Mbappé in Miami? Pulisic in Philly? Which American cities will host the 2026 World Cup? Tom Dart takes the leap.
Henderson’s sterling form and physical form mean dilemmas for Gareth Southgate, writes David Hytner.
This is the Euro Not 2020 expert network! Check out the team guides for Turkey, Wales, Belgium and Denmark, as well as detailed profiles of the major players.
Oh, and if that’s your thing … you can follow Big Website on Big Social FaceSpace. And INSTACHAT, ALSO!
